Self Psychology

 

A PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVANTAGE

Psychology is the scientific study of our mental processes and behaviours. Understanding a basic level of psychology can award us an advantage in life. Understanding the behaviours of other people will be key for personal and business relationships and understanding our own minds will identify our strengths, weaknesses, preferences and where we can improve or undo negative behaviour patterns.

When I first started looking at the basics of Psychology, I quickly realised that if science was able to rationalise our behaviour, then applying these intellectual ideas to my own processes could greatly help to justify my thoughts and actions in a more subjective way. And so it follows, that learning these workings of the brain will give us greater potential for understanding the requirements for living out purposeful, happy lives. 

We Are All Representatives

We are led by our unconscious minds. The person each and every one of us thinks we are, is just a tiny percentage of our whole being. In Freud's terms, our Ego — the part of our mind responsible for managing the Id and Super Ego — effectively the former desire-driven subconscious and the latter, moral sentinel, is actually just a 'front of house' representative. This part of us is our face on the world and when working effectively,  keeps us from making mistakes which will cause us to fall from favour in our relationships and potentially become ostracised by the wider community and society. 

The effectiveness of the Ego as an ambassador, is something we develop through childhood and is strengthened throughout early adolescence into adulthood. Erik Erikson defined a theory of psychosocial development consisting of eight stages. His theory focuses on the continued growth of an individual's personality throughout their lives and the success or failure at each stage for acquiring character strengths for establishing a greater sense of self. Without the right teachers and environment to hone our character or diplomatic skills in, the Ego will make poor judgement decisions on our behalf which take us further away from our path of true potential. We have to continue evolving through each stage of development. Once we reach our mid-20s, some of the Ego's core functions can already be hard-set and in many cases, could carry us along for years without being put into question. It's this 'frozen' state of immaturity that can lead to a crisis in our lives.

Our constant need to fit in will drive us to make key decisions. Many outcomes are governed by the people around us and this requirement to 'stay in line' can offer us benefits. However, societal requirements for conformity can be in direct opposition to our desires and can result in feelings of shame, guilt and self-depreciation. If desires are constantly unmet, this can further lead to anxiety, tension and potentially depression. Therefore, we need to be true to ourselves. There are times when standing up for what we believe is right and learning to know what makes us tick, will give us the tools for when these decisions should be made. Strong minds lead and inspire others — but invariably, they can be seen in the most annoying and difficult people to get on with. Getting the balance right, leads strong minds to greatness.

Through our own continued study and application of the principles of psychology, we can find a balance. There is a lot of free information available for us to be obtained through libraries and absorbed online. Humanistic Psychology helps individuals access and understand their feelings, gain a sense of meaning in their life and reach a level of self-actualisation. There is also help to be found through having discussions with others, either intimately through friends, via recognised groups or with professional therapists. Cognitive behavioural therapy is a talking therapy that helps one to manage their problems by changing thought processes and behaviours. Whichever ways we choose to investigate, depends on the individual, but ultimately it's integral to gain understanding of ourselves for leading healthy lives.

Psychology is a deeply profound science and therefore, can teach us a wealth of insightful information about what makes us tick. It's going to be something that we'll continue delving into on our quest for self-discovery. Understanding the ways our brains function in almost universal ways, will, if we recognise and apply our knowledge to improve upon, gain us an advantage when dealing with tricky people, situations and ultimately our deceptive selves.

BAREFACED LIAR

Everybody lies. This is no great secret. Studies have shown that we do it between 10 and 200 times a day – often unconsciously. So why do we do it? We lie for a multitude of reasons. We may feel the need to protect someone's feelings or to dig us out of an awkward situation — 'white lies' as we call them. Or we may need to lie in order to preserve a relationship, keep us from getting in trouble or even save lives. Whatever the magnitude of the lie, we tend to justify our lying as necessary requirements for the situations we are in and often will have little guilt until shown how our lies can negatively affect another's feelings or damage our reputation.

Many people would like to think they are supremely honest and moral citizens, but that's simply not true. They lie and we lie to ourselves about the fact that we lie. A lot of people will want to believe a lie rather than accept a horrible truth. This is merely an act of self-preservation to avoid hurt – because another main reason for our lies and deceptions is to protect ourselves from harm. This is the Ego at work.

Lies have become more socially acceptable in some corners of society. We all 'bend' the truth to a degree — tell the odd fib about what we've eaten or how much alcohol we've been drinking or to keep the peace. Men will tend to exaggerate more about themselves whereas women will tend to lie more for keeping the peace and defending another's feelings. What we tend to do is make distortions of the truth daily and if we're left unchecked, these lies can become bigger and more elaborate over time. And because we've gotten into a habit for lying so much and so effectively, we become less able at identifying the lies. We become better at hiding the truth from ourselves.

Logic Of Lying

Robert Trivers has dedicated his life's work to understanding why we lie and his book, The Folly of Fools, has been one of the greatest eye-openers for me in getting to know myself a bit better. I highly recommend reading this book, in order that you too may see the scale of the deception and the impossible task we face for staying truthful. Because, although we try to be honest, decent and upstanding citizens, we ultimately have to lie in order to protect ourselves and to make us feel better about ourselves.

The deception runs deep and the best way we can keep track on our lies, is to closely monitor and record ourselves throughout the day and to keep this going every single day with a form of diary. By keeping a diary, we can trace where our deceit has led us over time. There are many theories discovered about how our brains deceive us. Some of the key known examples are highlighted below. Learning and understanding how they affect our thinking or how they can be used against us by those who recognise their manipulative power, will give us a greater advantage in taking control of our own lives and actions.

Irrational But True
It's astounding how so many irrational actions can exist in society and even more amazing, behaviours exhibited by our most studious and seemingly intellectual elite. We are all prone, but there is evidence to suggest that those with the strongest self-belief in their abilities, are the most likely to succumb to the sway of irrational behaviour. When these people are our doctors, judges and leaders, their actions have serious implications for the lives of other people.

Loss Aversion

Loss aversion refers to the tendency for people to strongly prefer avoiding losses than acquiring gains. Some studies suggest that losses are over twice as psychologically powerful as gains. Loss aversion was first convincingly demonstrated by Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman. This is where gambling addictions are formed and losses are desperately aimed for with 'doubling down' behaviours.

Value Attribution

Value Attribution. Put simply, Value Attribution describes our tendency to imbue people or objects with certain qualities based on perceived value, rather than on objective data. A great example of this is the experiment run by the Washington Post featuring violinist Joshua Bell where he busked in a tube station. Only one person stopped to listen and appreciate the music, and that was evidently because they recognised the violinist. Children are mostly unaffected by value attribution, so it pays to have a youthful outlook and open mind if we're to avoid falling into this trap.

Diagnosis Bias

Diagnosis Bias refers to the way we unconsciously label people, ideas or objects based on our initial opinions of them and how we struggle to reverse these assumptions once they are in place. Without applying considered assessment, we can essentially blind ourselves to the facts no matter how much evidence contradicts our diagnosis. We hear about examples of diagnosis basis in the medical profession. However, the everyday occurrence of this trait can be summed up with the phrase 'Never judge a book by its cover'. A classic example is how we as drivers, witnessing erratic behaviours in another, label them as poor drivers without knowing why these actions have happened. There may be very good reasons. However, without putting ourselves in another's shoes, we tend to lay blame on these mostly oblivious other persons and because first impressions tend to stick, they unfairly retain the label they've been given.

Emotional Response

Conditioned emotional response is a reaction to feelings that we've been conditioned with. Pavlov's Dog was trained to associate food with the sound of a bell. On ringing the bell, the dog would begin to salivate without there being any food present. In humans, we make similar conscious or unconscious associations which have psychological implications we may or may not be aware of, precipitating actions or behavioural responses. Our conditioning through the early stages of childhood, can trigger emotional responses much later in adulthood. Sensory associations and perceptions based on strong historical conditioning - ie. fear of repeating painful experiences, help us avoid dangerous environments and situations but can also be detrimental to our personal growth.

Know Your Type
To gain an understanding of why we are the way we are and to realise that we are a particular 'type' with certain recognised preferences that mould us, we can take tests which, although not completely and definitely accurate (we are all so complex and unique), can give us a steer on our behaviours and identify our triggers in stressful situations.

Left/Right Brain Type
According to studies discussed again by Robert Trivers, the ideal position for everyone to operate from, in terms of brain function, is somewhere near the middle. The left hemisphere of the brain is associated more with organised, systematic thinking, whereas the right hemisphere is connected to creativity and intuition. The left is our talking brain and the right, is the quiet, contemplative side. It's been shown in individuals where the bundles of nerves (Corpus callosum), facilitating communication between the two halves, have been damaged, that some functions of the brain have been acting independently from one another. So it follows that we are capable of having at least two different sides to our personality. Taking a test to determine which side of the brain is more dominant, can help to understand where certain behaviours are more prominent and times when our different hemispheres are 'speaking up' when maybe they should be quietly considering instead. It's fascinating to read about the mind and there are some great books on the subject. Oliver Sacks dedicated his life's work to understanding the workings of the mind and many of his books are worth reading for greater insight into our own minds.

Personality Types

Type A and Type B personalities can be readily defined by their actions, recognised through job titles and identified by body shape in some cases. Type A personalities tend to be on the go all the time. They are the 'doers'. Competitive and ambitious, they tend to push themselves both mentally and physically to attain desired results. They have high energy, drive and determination, but at times, can appear anxious, especially when timings are concerned and prone to aggressive outbursts as well as stress-related illnesses. Type B personalities on the other hand, are more risk averse – opting to avoid stressful situations, therefore appearing more laid back and contemplative. Quite often they fill managerial roles and positions where reflective thinking and reasoning are prevalent. In appearance, the nervous energy Type active A personalities can be slimmer and more muscular compared to 'softer', relaxed type B's.

There are likely health implications affecting each personality type. For example, it has been shown through studies on heart health, that highly strung and overly stressed Type A's, produce increased levels of catecholamines in their bodies, which inhibits Magnesium absorption and, therefore increases the chances of developing cardiovascular disease. Type B's on the other hand, through generally being more laid back and slower-paced, can, through inactivity, develop weight-related health problems and become deficient in physical aspects. Type B's are said to be wiser than type A's. A common trait in high achieving A's is the fear of failure, which, in the workplace, can offer benefits to type B management. Choosing to solve problems through deeper thinking, before blindly rushing in, can also prove to be beneficial.

Generally, the A-B 'type' references, refer to the learned characteristics of an individual, not necessarily to any deep-seated genetic traits and therefore, in many instances, harmful habits/preferences can be addressed and behaviours improved for overall health, wealth and happiness.

Personality Tests

Myers Briggs tests have been widely used within organisations to profile the personality types most suited to the chosen roles and to complement a team. The tests were developed by Isabel Briggs Myers and her mother Katherine Briggs to define what is believed to be 16 character types. Again with this form of testing, there are cases of extreme types being observed through repeated testing and varying results being received through applying different modes of questioning and at different times of an individual's life and/or mindset. These results are generally quite accurate indicators of a person and can help the individual to understand which situations and people, will bring out the best and worst in themselves. It's a useful tool for being more understanding of others.

There are other tests to consider trying, which can give further insights into our character/personality traits for understanding how we can improve personal/work relations.
Enneagrams are based on ancient teachings and the modern-day version can offer a pretty accurate model of oneself, provided we are open to hearing the good and bad aspects. Much like horoscopes can be interpreted how we choose them to be, these tests are merely a tool for contemplation. In the workplace again, creative roles have been defined through interactive role play assessments, called Creative Creatures and team role assessments defined in the Belbin Team Inventory which has been favoured by human resource teams. All in all, any investigation into the traits that have defined us, either through our experiences, preferences, conditioning or perhaps genetics, should be delved into to uncover how our minds work and what defines who we are and could be.

Further Reading:
Learning to Lie – Bronson, Po. "Learning to Lie." New York Magazine. Feb. 10, 2008. (April 19, 2010)http://nymag.com/news/features/43893/
Why We Lie So Much – Harrell, Eben. "Why We Lie So Much." Time. Aug. 19, 2009. (April 19, 2010)
Natural Born Liars – Livingstone Smith, David. "Natural-Born Liars." Scientific American Mind. 2005.
Why We Lie – Lloyd, Robin. "Why We Lie." LiveScience. May 15, 2006. (April 19, 2010
The Truth About Lying – McCarthy, Jenna. "The Truth About Lying." Real Simple. (April 19, 2010)
How Lying Works – Scheve, Tom. "How Lying Works." HowStuffWorks.com. Dec. 9, 2008. (April 19, 2010)

Original link to FFC blog post here.